Presence and Listening

Theologian Roger Schroeder writes about “entering into someone else’s garden” as a way to try to approach intercultural ministry and mission.[47]  The garden in rural areas is critical to the communities’ existence. The garden contains vegetation that is specific to the local habitat and food that is part of the people’s regular diet. It may not be food that we would recognize or even like to eat. Schroeder notes that the first time we enter someone else’s garden, we should enter with our shoes off as a sign of respect.[48]  It is common practice in Asia to take one’s shoes off before entering people’s homes and places of worship as a sign of respect, and this action is a symbol for separating the dirt and outside influences from the sacred and personal spaces were are entering.     


When you enter into someone’s home or hospital room think about what is in the person’s garden. Is the room full of cards, balloons and well wishes or is it sparse and dark?  We have to leave our own personal likes and dislikes at the door, mentally removing our “cultural shoes” and to be in tune with what the person needs from us. It is not about what we can “do” for the person, it is about what they NEED from us and how we can “be” with them.
    
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The Ministry of Care Handbook discusses the five R’s of effective listening. It is helpful to remember to reflect on these in the context of our role as Eucharistic Minster of Care. We are not the patient’s social worker, doctor, or chaplain[49]:
Repeat: Say precisely back what you heard the other person say, using the exact words the person used.
Restate: Repeat what was said but use your own words.
Reflect: Gently try to identify the person’s deeper feelings.
Respond: Sometimes words do not fit the moment, and a touch or silence is needed to signal your understanding.
Respect: Show respect to the person by using understanding and caring along with treating the person as they are a valued relative or friend.
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Confidentiality

The person you are visiting has given you the privilege of letting you into their home or institutional room. You are there to bring the Eucharist and share prayers. You should respect the privacy around the person’s surroundings, family members and illness. Some people ask for the church to publicly acknowledge them in prayer during an illness; others may not want this information to be shared. It may be a natural instinct to put someone on a prayer list when they are ill, but the person’s permission is what always comes first. 

In 1996 the US Department of Health and Human Services enacted the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA). The legislation contains standards for the use and disclosure of individual’s health information. Anyone who works as a Minister of Care in a hospital or institution is subject to compliance with HIPAA regulations. Hospitals offer HIPAA training to all volunteers including Ministers of Care. 

Visits[50] 

A note about hand washing:
The US Center for Disease Control reminds us that:
CLEAN HANDS SAVE LIVES
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It is extremely important that a thorough hand washing is done before and after every visit. Hands need to be washed in warm soapy water, and long enough that you can sing the song “Happy BD to You” to yourself. If soap and water are not available then you are to use antibacterial liquid. There are many additional sanitary precautions that will be reviewed for people who visit in the hospitals, but there as well hand washing is at the core of not spreading illness. 
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Before the Visit:
  • Make an appointment if it is a home visit.
  • Don’t visit if you are sick
  • Spend time in prayer before the visit
  • Organize what you need: Pyx, Liturgy guide, Books, Hand Washing disinfectant, Church Bulletin, Holy Water (It is best to designate a bag for keeping all your MOC items together)
  • Some parishes include a consecration of the MOC Eucharist in the Pyx and a blessing for the Ministers of Care at Sunday Mass (STA 8:30 Sunday Mass) before they bring Communion to the sick, homebound or institution bound.
During the Visit:
​Be friendly, flexible, alert, confident, personal and most importantly, be yourself.

Special notes on Institutional Visits:
Most of the people you will be visiting in institutions will not know you personally. You will be requested to wear a visible name badge for the nurses and security staff know who you are. It is important to start the visit with an introduction of your name, your ministry role, parish and the offer to pray with them and to distribute communion. Sometimes we may get names of people to visit in Hospital that are not Catholic so the introduction should be clear that you are here as a Catholic Minister of Care. Careful listening to the person’s response to your introduction will help you understand how best to proceed.
After the Visit: 
  • Consider writing your notes in a journal, and keep notes about the person and family. Remember to keep this information in a secure private place.
  • Reconnect and debrief with your community and take time for quiet reflection
  • Follow up if there is something the person requested

Special guidelines for institutions[51]

Scenarios in instituions
  • Check in with the Nurses’ station on the floor. Let them know who you are and what you will be doing. Ask about any special concerns for the people you will be visiting.
  • Pay special attention to the patient’s door. Before you enter the room read special notices about gloves/attire, or dietary restrictions. Look to see if a light is on over the door indicating the person needs a nurse. Listen for voices coming from inside the room indicating the person may have visitors or may be receiving medical attention. Did you wash your hands before you enter?
  • Always knock on a closed door before entering, and listen closely for a response. If the patient is sleeping, leave a note letting them know you were there and a church bulletin.
  • Don’t touch the patient in greeting unless they extend a hand to you. 
  • Stay standing in clear line of vision to the patient.
  • If the patient is eating, ask them if they would like you to come back later.
  • If the doctors or nurses enter for treatment, excuse yourself and come back later.
  • If there is another patient in the room, speak to them so they are acknowledged as well.
  • If the patient has visitors ask them if the visitors would like to participate or if they would prefer for you to come back later.
  • If the TV or radio is on, ask permission to turn it off during the visit.
  • If the person is in ICU and not able to speak you can offer Holy Communion to the visitors if they are present and gathered around the patient. If the patient is alone, you can pray a simple Our Father or Hail Mary with them. Even when someone’s eyes are closed and they may look like they are not responding, you never know what they may be hearing.
1. Person: “Yes, I am so glad to see you and have been worrying about how I can receive communion!”
MOC: “You are part of our parish community while you are here, and I am happy to serve you.” 
NOTE - you will most likely only have this opportunity in less that 50% of the rooms you may visit on a day. Don’t be discouraged, and enjoy the joy of sharing Eucharist even if it is only with one person for the day.

2. Person: “Yes, but I haven’t been to confession recently/not sure/don’t feel worthy so I can’t take communion.”
MOC: “I can send a request to the Chaplain’s office if you like for a priest to come to celebrate the  Sacrament of Reconciliation with you. If you have had the Sacrament of Reconciliation in recent months, would you want to pray an Act of Contrition as we do in Mass?”  
The question and prayer may open the door to additional dialogue to better understand the person’s reluctance.

3. Person: “I am too tired/sore/hurting right now.”
MOC: “I am sorry to hear that. If you would like someone to visit you later, you can ask the nurse to leave a message at the Chaplain’s office. Would you like me to leave you this bulletin to read?”

4. Person: “NO!”
MOC: “OK, I am very sorry to disturb you. Would you like me to leave you this bulletin to read?”  
This may then be an opportunity, if the person is alert, to have a short conversation. This is a chance to see if there is something hurting the person that is keeping them from communion. While they may not want to receive the Eucharist, you can have a compassionate conversation with them and sympathize with their suffering.

5. Person: “There must be a mistake!  I am Jewish/Muslim/Hindu.”  
MOC: “I am very sorry to disturb you, we must have some incorrect information. Would you like me to pray with you or can I get you anything from the Chaplain’s office for your faith tradition?”

During MOC training it is helpful to role play these scenarios, and also discuss other ones experienced MOC have encountered.



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